The Line Between Self-Care and Self-Indulgence

anxiety, creative non-fiction, depression, mental health, mental health blogger, personal, writer

Dread-Filled Writer

My therapist (man, you know you’ve lost any fucks to give when you start a blog post with those two words) has a pretty interesting policy. Actually, as far as I know it’s the same for any NHS mental health services across the UK. The policy is as follows – although I’m paraphrasing:

If you don’t turn up to an appointment without calling ahead first, you’re immediately discharged from the service. If you cancel two appointments without giving at least 24 hours of notice, you’re also discharged from the service.

When I first reached the top of the waiting list and started receiving these appointments, I was certain this policy was going to be the absolute bane of my existence. In fact, by the time of my third appointment I’d already used my one allowance as far as cancelling within 24 hours goes. This meant that for the remainder of…

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Do you consider flirting cheating?

advice , cheating , dating , flirting , new blog , opinion , relationships

What would Jai do???

Do you consider flirting cheating?

Such a tricky little word. No, if we are going with the Merriam-Webster definition, but this is life and definitions take on a whole new meaning. Let me explain.

According to Merriam Webster, the word Flirt means: to behave amorously without serious intent. Now, I’m pretty sure we have all done it, to some degree at one point in our lives.

You know, the innocent batting of the eye lashes to get a large french fries instead of the small you ordered, or the coy wink for an extra spray of whip cream on your caramel frappe. We both know that this little exchange is not going beyond this little exchange (I’m sorry if you weren’t aware that it wasn’t going further) but I just wanted the fries.

Sometimes kindness can be mistaken for flirting, which creates for awkward situations. Just because I like your…

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Bookish Acronyms 101: A Book Community Beginner’s Guide to the Lingo!

acronyms , blogger resources , book , book acronyms , book community , bookish , books , language , lingo , reading , resources , slang , ya , young adult

Vicky Who Reads

Sometimes when I talk on Twitter (or even this blog!) I get questions about the abbreviations I use, so I thought I’d make this list to help newbie bloggers & book community members get acquainted with some of the terminology!

It’d be a total pain typing out the words “Young Adult” every time I write YA, and so I hope this list becomes a resource! If I remember any more acronyms, I’ll make sure to update this list with them.

Also, if you think I’m missing anything let me know! I’d love to add it on so this list is more comprehensive.

I really hope this is helpful, and totally do not hesitate to ask if you’re confused about an acronym’s definition! I’m here to help!


NOTE: When talking in the book community, sometimes people use intentionally vague abbreviations (i.e. MM could be Marissa Meyer or Maura…

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What does “Hybrid” Mean in the Data World?

Data Analysis, Data Sources, Hybrid Data, Hybrid Database

Data & Technology

“Hybrid” in the data world may mean different things. This is a list of most common definitions I came across.


Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Pexels.com

  1. A mix between OLTP and analytical function that allows organizations you generate fast analytics while permitting real-time data processing and acquisition.
  2. A variety of data sources, including edge technologies (IoT), traditional relational data, images, semi-structured and unstructured data.
  3. An approach that is a combination of both in-the-cloud and on-premise.
  4. In-memory and disk-based. Traditional DBMSs were designed in an era when most data processing was disk based. More modern analytics databases tend to be in-memory as this layer is much faster than disk. A combination of the two could be considered a hybrid database.

What other definitions have you found?

References

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What is Beauty?

art , beauty , definitions , meaning , philosophy

A Patchwork of Perceptions

own kind of beautiful Clipart

My roommate and I have a tapestry hung in our living room that declares, “Be your own kind of beautiful.” This implies that the meaning of beauty varies, and even that each person creates his or her own definition of beautiful. Furthermore, we ascribe beauty to a number of images that draw contrary emotions. We behold an idyllic landscape and call it beautiful, then a novel wrought with sorrow, and even a suicide.

Are we applying the term too broadly, or does it simply have a broad meaning?

Culture, it might be argued, affects what a community accepts as beautiful. Standards of beauty change with history, as in China where bound feet once represented feminine beauty. From this perspective, beauty has meaning over subjectively; we adopt a “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” stance. What, then, becomes of beauty’s position as a transcendental element?

girl and dog beautiful Photo…

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What does wellness mean?

happiness , health , health promotion , mindfulness , wellness

The Knowledge Spot

You’re a very complex and unique individual. What does your health look like? Everyone’s perfect picture of health will look just a little different. Wellness isn’t about being the skinniest or most buff person in the room, it’s all about being happy and feeling healthy, and finding workouts that work for you. It’s also not about eating a salad for every meal of every day. A good rule to follow is, “everything in moderation”; practice living a life that you love that is healthy and sustainable in the long-term. 

Photo by Megan Hodges on Unsplash

Wellness is a very holistic thing with many important aspects. Your wellness isn’t only physical but also very much about how you’re feeling mentally. Many times, when one vital part of your life is off balance, it puts off the rest of your life.

Some (but not all) vital aspects of your wellness include your…

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What the FUCK is Self-Care …

anxiety , believe , happiness , hope , life , living , mental health , selfcare

Living Through Grace

In current social media standards, I would describe self-care as “sexy”, bubble baths, wine, face masks, #selflove, #treatyourself but what is the point in all those things. Personally, these forms of self-care have never been realistic to me. Also, who can afford these kinds of self-care on a regular basis because as a struggling student I certainly cannot.

Webster’s dictionary describes self-care as “care for oneself” so if this is how we describe self-care couldn’t we say eating vegetables is self-care or going to the dentist is self-care. These things absolutely are self-care, but no one posts this stuff on social media because it’s not sexy enough.

The term self-care is extremely important in the realm of mental health as someone who had struggled with their mental health for me self-care has been making sure I brush my teeth twice a day or having three meals a day. Self-care shouldn’t…

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